Even with you;

Disappointment is lurking in the corner; it always is.

Ten days down, one day up please.

Yes, please.

Someone to feel for me what you felt for her.

“I’ve been learning
how to take loneliness
head on since you
decided to leave me
for reasons that I
may never know.
It was difficult
at first because
everything somehow
reminded me of you
when you were
so-called happy,
and I was so obviously
blind from infatuation
to see the truth
that lingered beneath
the sentences
of hesitation towards
our burning future.
But I have to say
I am learning to adapt
to this loneliness
a lot more easily
than I ever thought
possible. Because even
if I am alone, at least
I am not caught-up
in this mind game
that you once considered
to be ‘true’ love.”

— 

"Better to adapt than to fall beneath," - Colleen Brown

FTS;

The universe: Oh so your life is falling into place and you're happy? Let me do something about it.

Misery loves company;

The best thing someone has said to me so far:

1) It's fine to marinate in misery

2) but not for too long, or else you'll turn into mush.

BS;

"I rather have bad times with you, than have good times with someone else"

Bitter;

I spat you out but your taste still linger.
Hiatus?
I'm done keeping silent.

bring me back to the start;

hiatus notice.

for now.

forever.

i don't know.

untitled #7

Oh the irony when all you ever wanted is to be less bothersome and more accommodating and you ended up being the exact opposite. Maybe it's not you. Maybe the fault really does lie with me.

suppression;

Let's be brutally honest.

You don't and you won't.

Done.

Recipe for H;

consistency.
transparency.
a pinch of courage.
and truck loads of kindness.

I promise we'll make it;

But I really don't know

Some nights are fine. Some nights are not. Tonight is the latter. Tonight is this song on repeat kind of night. Tonight is a counting how much sleep I would get before working 8 hours tomorrow kind of night. Tonight is let's have endless scenarios of I could have, would have, should have kind of night. Tonight is a plagued by insomnia kind of night. Tonight, I'll be thinking about you.

"I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this."

― Lemony Snicket

I let your promises ruin me.

—Six Word Story #96

Eleven days into January
Dean's List
Eight and a half hours of work
You have a natural pissed off face
So do I
But you're cute
And so am I
Steve Aoki
FMFA'14
RM345

Current affairs;

Now playing: Malefique - Tuff Guy

The feel of it is addictive.

-

Last read: David Benioff - City of Thieves 

An easy read about a deserter and a looter looking for a dozen eggs. There's far more substance than that but I'm no book reviewer. I apologize.

-

Word of the day ( or week or month or year ): Substance

I figured I lacked substance, in character. I have spent most of my adolescence years, fussing over my shell that I regretfully forgotten to fill. And since I misplaced my sense of  self over the past few months, and my self-image jumped out the window with it, I don't know.

I'm lost.

-

Today: 3.58

Oh look, my results followed suit. What is up with this window.

untitled #6

Concerts that need to happen in Malaysia this year;

1. John Mayer
2. Ed Sheeran
3. Arctic Monkeys
4. twenty one pilots
5. The Script
6. The 1975

untitled #5

I hate how I lost the right to call.
Along with the privilege to know.