How do we leave the people we love?

The answer is
We don't.

Instead, we beg them to leave us.

For our love is destructive
and we love them far too much to see them in ruins.

Is it finally time for me to pick myself up?

"Because I want you with a certainty that you will perhaps never possess. Because I do not have to think twice about whether I would like to answer your text messages or pick up your phone calls. Because I’m sure. Because I do not love people halfway and that’s where you and I differ. I don’t want the occasional phone call. I don’t want to play your tired-out game."

Honesty hour #3

Words that was always on my tongue but it was yours that it came out from.

They say:

“Love yourself first." 

“You have to choose yourself."
“Chloe, you have to take care of yourself."

Giving them my best reassuring smile, I promised that I will, put myself first. But every time I hear your voice, my resolve would crumble. Give him one more chance, this time will be it, this time he’ll treat you right. This time, he’ll choose you; because I choose you, I choose us, every time.

“I’m not choosing between you or her. I’m choosing myself."

And that’s the problem, isn’t it? Not once did you not.

Honesty hour #1

I love you.

I'm fucking in love with you.

But you don't need any of that tonight.

Or tomorrow night.

\

And honestly, I have lived by the policy of no drinking because I believe that pain demands to be felt but you have shown me no mercy, building cities and setting them on fire in my thoughts that alcohol is the only way to put them out. Or provoke them. I don't know, after all, I am writing for you now. 

I just hope that I'm on your mind; mending bridges, putting out fires and growing gardens and that you'll think of me. Think of me, fondly.

If not tonight,
tomorrow night.

You stepped into my view and as always, you became the only view.

Uno;

The underlying problem: my issue with this relationship is cancerous. Spreading it's roots deep within the very foundation of what it was built on. I love you. I loved you. Now I just fear you. Fear that when you do not seek my presence, you are in another. Fear that when you are in my presence, you longed for another. Fear that when you seek for me, you were actually seeking for her. This is why I cannot give you time. For this fear is cancerous, and baby, we are already at stage 4. 

-

Tell me honestly, do you really believe that you can fix us? 

Fuck love.

665

One foot in, one foot out

Give me the time I need to grieve

Im not ready

“thanks for giving me a chance”

For you for him

“I am ready to give it up this time”

I choose me

If you would come back,

L ov e

How is it that those words came out so easily to you

Why

do I feel so chocked with every beep that accompanies messages of sweet nothings

Choice

Choose

I choose me